Story after story is written about it. Products are created because of it. People create forums and even study the science of it. What is it you ask? Happiness! So many are looking for the real solution to unhappiness so they can enjoy life and simply be happy.

Is it real? Is true happiness possible? I think it is. There is one thing that I believe causes so much unhappiness in people. It is the thing that so many in search of this happiness thing have it common. It’ s a common thread. We know it when we see it in others but we can’t seem to see it in ourseselves. And then when we figure it out all it takes is a word from someone else that is unkind, a commercial suggesting another way, a media story telling us it’s something else or even a helpful sales person at a restaurant or store guiding us in another direction to doubt what we’ve figured out.

The real idea behind happiness can found in how or what you look for. We look for happiness in things like comfort foods, clothing, cars, homes, boats, vacations and even people. We say things like if this happens I’ll be happy. Then when that thing happens we are happy for a while until we bored and then we are back at it. We once again say if that happens I’ll be happy or I’ll be happy when…. and so on.

The ticket is to understand what happiness is and what happiness is not. Happiness is a state of being! Yup a state of being. It is not something you find though those creating the quotes we love so much constantly say it is. Quotes like “you’ll always find happiness in ….” Newsflash my friend, happiness was never lost so we can’t find it. It’s in the same place it’s always been. It is in our state of being. This confusion comes from our inability to utilize our extensive vocabularies to correctly identify feelings, emotions and ideas. We may find joy in a thing but we won’t find happiness in it. I may say to you “Sara, I found a lot of joy in that vacation.” That is a real statement if it was enjoyable! Joy can be fleeting. If you do a basic Google search and look up the definition of joy it will tell you it’s a FEELING of pleasure or happiness. JOY is the feeling! That same search will tell you that HAPPINESS is a state of being.

Unfortunately, many people have become very lackadaisical in our utilization of words due to either family or societal conditioning. Because of that lazy type of thinking some will tend to substitute words for other words that aren’t always the best fit. It is important when raising our families the we give them the most access we can to the words that clearly describe their feeling, emotions and state of being in order to help them later down the line.

So instead of searching for happiness, we can choose to just BE happy. We can exist as happy people who take joy in various pleasures of life. One may ask but what if my life is so awful I can’t be happy. There is a state of sadness and there is situational sadness. A state of sadness may require a person to seek professional help. In situational sadness professionals can help as well, though thinking on what there is to be grateful about can also help. This is not meant to get into behavioral health issues so for that the advice is to always seek a professional. This information herein is just an observation about simply BEING happy. Each day we get up and have many choices. Today I encourage you to BE happy so when you experience JOY it is felt even more.

Written by

Trauma-informed #emotionalintelligence coach, diversity consultant & speaker writing about everything to help you live, love, and prosper in the best way!

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